I was born in Cluj, Romania and raised in a Christian family. When I was 6, my father decided that living in a communist regime wasn't what he wanted for this three children. Less than a year later we ere living in southern California., I was baptized at age 13 and walked with the Lord. We moved from California to Monroe, Washington, and finally to Portland.
In may sophomore year, with no church to lean on, I began to try drugs and drinking. My curiosity led me to marijuana and I began going to nightclubs. By 17, I was addicted to crank which almost destroyed my life. I was completely engulfed in sin. Somehow I quit crank and moved on to alcohol, drinking until I would black out.
Then I got pregnant. I wanted an abortion, but I reared God. The idea of going through a pregnancy and parenthood was so over whelming and confusing. My friends were encouraging me to have an abortion, but I knew it was wrong and didn't like the idea of being a murderer all my life.
I tried to go ahead with it anyway, but I saw the ultrasound picture and knew I couldn't do it. I went to Crisis Pregnancy Center where someone prayed with me, and I felt such peace. I decided to look into adoption for my child because financially and emotionally I knew I couldn't raise a child on my own. Though a facilitator I found a couple to adopt my child. About that time I decided to look into Bethany House and, after the interview, I know it was where God wanted me to stay. The thing I remember about Bethany House is the living relationship the house parent's Mat and Tina, had and thinking. So this is what God wants marriage to be. The house mother touched my heart. Her patience, kindness and love were abundant, but it was her gentleness that I loved the most. She'll always have a special place in my heart.
I gave birth to a beautiful girl and I will never forget the pain, sadness, and emptiness I felt as I had to say good-bye to my daughter. I started drinking again to numb the pain and fell into a deep depression. Then the Lord got a hold of me and I have never know such fulfillment. His mercy, love, grace and forgiveness is mine. My craving for drugs is gone, I crave Jesus now!!
I look back with sadness at all the time I wasted serving sin instead of God. I marvel at the Lord's awesomeness. Every day I have hope though him and he is mending my heart. I see my daughter once a year and I have a great relationship with her adoptive parents. I am involved with an incredible church and plan on walking with the Lord every day of my life.
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